Shadowscape
Recent Entries
May 19th, 2009
09:25 pm - LOL

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Random memory, came up while chatting with [livejournal.com profile] kennapea:

Back in high school, I was waiting in the office for some reason to talk to someone or such, and was rifling through the pamphlets they had available there out of boredom. One of them was "How to cope with the loss of a child". I found this hilariously morbid to be available there, so I took one to read later and stuffed it in a coat pocket.

Days later, some kid I barely knew kept talking at me and being generally annoying. So I turned to him and calmly interrupted him, "Hey, could you give this to your parents before tomorrow?" and pulled the pamphlet out and handed it to him.

The look on his face was priceless: You could see him wondering why the HELL I had one of those just sitting ready in my pocket. He just stopped talking, and walked away.

He never came back ;]

Current Mood: [mood icon] amused

(Sing with the Choir)

January 26th, 2009
01:10 pm - I R Nutz!

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I have had reason today to remember a LOT of my weird quirks.

The only one worth repeating here, however, is how I used to eat my Cheerios when I was young.

I'd take the bowl with cheerios and milk, and eat JUST one half down to the milk, so there was a wall of cheerios consisting the other half. Some cheerios would always fall into the milk side, though, because the "wall" falls apart.

I'd pretend the wall was a mighty empire, and the stray cheerios were rebels from the empire fighting against it. So I'd eat them. But as I did, the milk would shake more cheerios loose. These were more people rebelling against the aggressive destruction of the rebels. Eventually, the whole "empire" would dissolve into chaos and rebellion, and I'd have to put them all down.

I think I started this when I was in grade 2 or 3 ;/ It vaguely concerns me how GLEEFUL I was, decimating those "rebels" and knowing I was the bad guy they were increasingly rebelling against.

Eh!

Current Mood: [mood icon] WTF?

(19 Voices | Sing with the Choir)

November 14th, 2008
02:35 pm - 23

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"The moon doesn't shine some nights, and on those nights the stars shine brightest."

Happy birthday, Chrissy.

(Music can be found here.)

Current Music: Nothing Smells Like You - Christina DaSilva Bussey [Twelfth Night]

 

September 15th, 2008
07:23 pm - INTERVIEW MEME

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1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you 5 questions (edit: I don't think they have to be "very personal", but hopefully questions that seem *you* in nature)
3. You will update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this and an offer to interview someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed you will ask them 5 questions.

I got mine from the wonderful [livejournal.com profile] mercuryisme, who you may blame for asking specifically asking #3 which prompted a FLOOD of text. If you're reading this in passing, DO NOT CLICK THE CUT.

1. What's your "if my life falls apart, I'll just pack up and move elsewhere and ______________" last resort career choice?

Hm. I don't think I've ever considered this much before; by and large, I am too stubborn to consider failure cases. Since that is stupid, however, I'll think of one now. I'd say... I'd probably go into sales, and try and manipulate my way into greater money. If I can't have the life I want, I would bitterly buy the closest thing I could.

2. Is there anything that your future children could do that would make you incredibly disappointed?

Assuming I had children? ...probably be close-minded or ignorant. As long as any child of mine is willing to learn and comprehend, both others and themselves, then I am happy.

3. Why "imaria" and the angel themed LJ?

LOOOOOONG TEXT ANSWER [Touches on 'saviour complex' issues]  )

4. What kind of kid were you when you were little?

When I was REALLY young, I was a charismatic charmer. Then I got arrogant as FUCK as I got older, and got myself rightfully beat up. Then I went into the shy-as-hell stage, and stuck like that until high school.

5. When are you coming to California?

Haha, whenever I can scrounge up the cashmoney ;] (As it is, California alone would cost roughly $2000 in a time where $20 is AWESOME)


This was fun!

Current Location: In class

(31 Voices | Sing with the Choir)

May 18th, 2008
04:58 am - My 1.64¢, adjusted for inflation

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I should be in bed, but I wanted to throw this out there:

Contrary to what some of the Internet is like, I really like you people. Like, a lot. The past while, where I've been working with new pills and a depression diagnosis, etc? In no way can I call it "my struggle with depression" or such, because I've had a lot of awesome people around me via these wonderful tubes of ours. Not for a minute have I felt alone, and all without getting inundated with *hugs* or other such well-meaning inanities. By just being around all you great people, it's made my life a whole lot better.

So the next time some random faceless twit decides to lash out, remember that there is some OTHER faceless twit who really, really appreciates you.

Okay... I can sleep now ;]

Current Mood: [mood icon] grateful

(12 Voices | Sing with the Choir)

November 14th, 2007
03:23 am - ...Et Nos Mutamur In Illis

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I know I haven't updated in months, and am probably expected to have some giant, 5000 word summary entry.

If that's the case, this one's going to be a disappointment (or a blessing, depending on the view). In summary, I've been busy as all fuck since classes started up, and I let myself slide back into politics; my fault, 100%.

I forget what sleep is like... and today's date is not lost on me, either. I've got a visit to make tonight.

The only real thing of note, over these past few months?

I used to see myself as a good person. I made mistakes here and there, but we all do. Underneath it all, though, I knew I always meant well and would endeavour to minimize the damage that I might have ever caused.

Now... not so much. That "infinite compassion" thing? Doesn't work so well without recipients. Apparently empathy can atrophy and die; who knew?

And you know what worries me most? While I do wax nostalgic for the days when I could depend on my moral code, and felt resolute in my direction... it's the appeal of the freedom in this amoral ambiguity that takes the spotlight. I might think well of when I was "the nice guy"... but I don't know if I could honestly say I miss it anymore. For the first time in my life, I have the conviction to actually hammer those things that hurt me. And to be frank... after years of self-martyrism, I've gotten curious as to what it might be like to be on the winning side for once.

"Tempora mutantur, et nos mutamur in illis."

It's been my motto for years and years... how ironic.

"Times change, and we change with them."

Current Mood: [mood icon] tired

(26 Voices | Sing with the Choir)

December 15th, 2006
02:10 am - Second Rising

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It's almost 2am, and I'm still kicking around online. There's no good reason for me to still be awake, and yet here I am.

Upon further reflection, I realized it's because I currently feel lonely. The funny thing? That makes me happier than I've been in ages.

In Which I Make Sense, In Typical Long-Winded Fashion )

(I do apologize for my inability to write short entries; feel free to skip the long crap I write. I just stick it up here on the off chance someone wants to read it, mostly as a way to force myself to write what I'm thinking at all ;] )

Current Mood: [mood icon] lonely, but peaceful

(10 Voices | Sing with the Choir)

July 28th, 2006
03:08 am - Once Upon A Time...

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By this point, some of you may not want to read anymore of this kind of stuff. )

One thing I realized is something that was growing on me recently... I can't go back into the Woodlands now. Not for a long, long time. For any there, I apologize that I won't be there for your shows. I wish you the very best; you know you have my unending support. But it will be many years before I can go back in there. Right now, it's just a reminder of what has been lost, and I don't want that to be how it ends up in my mind forever. I need time to heal, to see things differently, and to really be able to remember again with all the detail that made it mean something. I don't know when that will be, but it's not now.

Goodbye Woodlands... you know I'll miss you, and everything you meant.

Hell... I already do.

(13 Voices | Sing with the Choir)

July 23rd, 2006
10:37 pm - I AM RETURNZ0R

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I'm baa-aack!

A week of fun, sun, water, and [livejournal.com profile] torricus has done me very well. I feel about 200% better than I have for the past while; I needed this more than I had thought.

Since I know most people likely aren't interested in my detailed trip itinerary, I'll summarize before the cut:

<colesnotes>
There was much waterskiing for all ([livejournal.com profile] torricus tried, too), a LOT of watertubing, some hiking, some tanning (and a bit of burning, but nothing too bad), biking, canoeing, candy, campfires, vodka, and general enjoyment. HOWEVER, the fabled outdoor hot tub was shut down due to new useless government regulations. Apparently they're being appealed, so hopefully it'll be back soon.
</colesnotes>


Itinerary! )

I've been catching up on LJ and such since 7PM, and now it's 10:30PM. I'm actually totally exhausted, but I'm also totally up to date. And with that, I'm done.

One thing; my bed is more comfortable than I remember ;]

Current Mood: [mood icon] satisfied

(7 Voices | Sing with the Choir)

July 10th, 2006
02:28 am - What Happened To My Face?

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I keep meaning to update, but I keep getting distracted by my own thoughts, and then I don't make an entry ;/ It's wholly unproductive.

I've really not been doing much; I did sign up for classes, a process made 400% more complicated by my own idiocy. I refuse to get into what happened, but suffice it to say that what should have taken no more than 20 minutes ended up taking over 2 hours, and it was so my own fault that it's not funny ;/ However, it's done and I'm actually happy with the result, which is amazing considering how poorly I went at it. Now I just have to magically create money to get in ;/

I've been doing more introspection than is normal for even me recently; I think it's been doing me some good. I feel more at home in myself than I have in... a while.

...which is why I shocked the hell out of myself recently when I got a good look at myself in the mirror. Usually, when I'm looking at myself in a mirror, my glasses are off because I've just come out of the shower. Without my glasses, I am a fleshblob. I see no details. It seems I haven't taken a good look at myself since high school, because I happen to really look at myself in the rearview mirror during a long drive, and I was honestly shocked because I didn't recognize myself.

It would seem I have been filling in the fine details by memory and photographs; I wonder what it says about my nostalgia habits if I've been using 5 year old photographs as mirrors ;/ I expected to look like I did back in the day; now, I have a chin and facial hair that won't fucking stop growing. I had shaved that morning, and already had 5 o'clock shadow. It was noon. WTF?

It's funny, because it's not like "I don't know myself, man!" because I know my insides very well. When I looked in the mirror, I still have the same eyes. But the physical parts? Totally new to me. I tried to take a picture, but they all came out stinking of Internet Disease. As such, I remain faceless on the internet in any viable manner (I still have an old picture or two hanging around somewhere, but since I don't look like that anymore, it's not worth digging up).

The next time I get a good picture, I'll stick it up here. Of course, I expect that the next head-on picture I have taken will be my University grad shots, so I'm not exactly anxious ;/

EDIT: I saw the biggest bloody rainbow in my life that same car ride in which I realized I didn't recognize myself. I told myself I would make a note of it in an LJ entry so I wouldn't forget. This is that note.

(24 Voices | Sing with the Choir)

June 10th, 2006
01:43 am - 8035 Days And Counting...

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As of 9:30 AM 6/9/06, I officially marked 22 consecutive years of existence.

22 is an odd age... At 16, you can drive; 18, you can drink; 21, you can smoke. But 22 means nothing that way; the doors are open. It's just the first year of the rest of your life.

No pressure, of course ;]

Yet, despite the lack of additional privileges or whatnot, this is also the first birthday in which I have actually felt older. And this is not a negative thing; I've never feared getting older. And it's not like I woke up today and thought, "Wow, I'm old now". Rather, today felt like the period on a year-long sentence:

"I feel older."

I can ever so faintly recall myself this time last year, and I know (not think, but know) that I was not even close to the person I am today. This year... this year has had more events of significance in it than any other I can recall. I'm not going to list, because I will remember them anyway and no-one else needs to read a run-down, but rest assured that this year has aged me more than any other.

So many things are slowly beginning to make sense... so many of those questions I'd assumed I'd understand with age are starting to come together. I've always been a shameless nostalgic, but those memories are starting to mean something in a much greater sense now; I'm starting to realize the significance of the smallest things.

But what is surprising me the most, as I look back at the events that really made me who I am... and I realize that, on some level, I knew it at the time. I have a fairly poor memory... but when I look back on what I believe to be important moments, I find that I can find some memento of that time stashed somewhere; I can remember a feeling unlike anything else. Only now do I recognize that the feeling was me getting a glimpse at my own future changing; such a huge thing that I could never have known at the time. And I know that I must be doing that now; I will look back in time and see how I changed my life bit by bit without noticing, but somehow knowing.

There are so many feelings I didn't understand at the time; so many events whose significance was lost due to inexperience and naiveté. Frankly, I find it amazing that I made it this far with so few horrible errors ;] It kills me to look back and see how many chances I just couldn't see, but I am still close enough to those times to remember that I couldn't have seen them; I was seeing things from a totally different viewpoint than I see them now.

I think that's the key to being older; when you can draw a line in your memories and call something beyond it "youth". I know that line will move, and I know that right now, I'm still right on that edge ;] I'm no old man yet, even if I do have a cane, back, knees, and mindset that speak otherwise. But I'm starting to see the beginnings of that process, and I know why you're supposed to pursue things to the fullest in your youth; nothing stings more than a lost opportunity. The worst mistakes I ever made are forgotten, but the chances not taken I won't soon forget.

I've done pretty well so far, really. I wouldn't give myself a clean slate, mind you, but I've done a damn good job. It's tempting to beat on myself for past errors, but I know that I did what I felt was right, and that brings a great deal of comfort. The price of that comfort, though, is to learn from it. I always meant well, but that doesn't mean I did well. If I am to accept that at least my heart was in the right place, then I must at least learn from the mistake and get the rest of me in the right place, be it years later or not.

I think I'm finally starting to learn, again.

(EDIT: I actually had a really good birthday, which I realize this does not get across at all ;] I'm a thinker, that's all. Trust me, though; the day was good. I got the New Super Mario Bros. for the DS. That has to be proof right there ;] )

Current Mood: [mood icon] nostalgic

Current Music: The Dead Song - Linear North [Artsfest]

(18 Voices | Sing with the Choir)

May 30th, 2006
12:24 pm

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One of Chrissy's uncles contacted me with a request for contacts of her friends for the purpose of putting a webpage together. If you would like to be included, please drop me an email here; my LJ email is imaria at livejournal dot com. Please at least give a first name as well. If I should already have your email address, just leave a comment here. I know some people might not want to get involved for a variety of reasons (too much too soon, overload, etc.), so I don't want to opt-in anyone who doesn't want to be. Haivng said that, I do hope many people drop in.



And, to add something to this... I felt that I should finally share the deep, dark secret of "Little Curtain Call", the independent drama group Chrissy directed all those years ago. She'd want it known.

Let's break down that name: "Little" - "Curtain Call". A curtain call is the end of a performance; extrapolated, a drama-related form of death.

So now we have "Little Death". This is the Wikipedia article for "little death".

It never stopped being funny...especially hearing it announced in churches.

(12 Voices | Sing with the Choir)

May 28th, 2006
12:47 am - Mango

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[This is an ungodly long entry, written over the course of four hours, and clocks in at 3300+ words. It is thankfully segmented, which should assist reading. I would apologize for the length, except that a) I would not change a single word of this, and b) I have come to notice that there are worse things than rambling. Someone very important did it all the time; I forgive myself for taking this one opportunity to do so in return.]

As I begin to write this entry, it is May 27th, 12:30PM, and I am onboard the VIA Train 44, Car 4, bound for Ottawa to see a friend I have not seen since November 3rd, 1995 (For the curious, that amounts to 10 years, 6 months, 3 weeks, and 3 days). I've got a lot of time to think; it's a four hour train ride. And I don't think there could be a better time for it.

The Service )



The Reunion )



The Roast )



Artsfest, And The Rest Of My Life )

Finished: May 27th, 4:25PM - Posted: May 28th, 12:47AM

Current Music: You Belong To Me - Jason Wade [Shrek]

Current Mood: [mood icon] thoughtful

(7 Voices | Sing with the Choir)

April 25th, 2006
02:37 am - EXAM = DONE

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And finito...I have completed my studies and obligations as a student for the year! (Now I just have the obligation of filing my taxes to complete...)

I find it ironically bittersweet to discover how many excellent people you have as classmates that you hadn't realized on your last day as classmates. Many email addresses were traded, however, so I hope I see these people again. It's been a truly eye-opening year that's given me a lot of hope for the future, and a lot of confidence that I'm going into the right things. All in all, I feel pretty good about things.

Now all I want is some more of that vanilla bean tea I had recently, especially brewed with another bag of a more fruity tea. Man, that was tasty. I've been craving it ever since I put down the mug a night ago ;]

Current Mood: [mood icon] peaceful

(3 Voices | Sing with the Choir)

February 18th, 2006
06:47 pm - Q

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RIP: Q Stedman, brought into our lives September 2nd, 1996 at an unknown age, departing February 18th, 2006. )

(3 Voices | Sing with the Choir)

February 5th, 2006
02:25 am - 1 in a 1,000,000 is very alone

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Back in drama, we all were deeply emotionally involved with each other. While usually positive, even our "enemies" seemed more emotionally real than those people outside that kind of circle.

Growing past that, the crushing realization that the world is not that close is becoming harder and harder to ignore. People do everything in their power to avoid that kind of connection...It's crippling. It makes people seem like cardboard to me; I've experienced a kind of hyper-reality in the connections I've had with people...knowing that I will never be as close to people again as I was then is difficult to accept.

Even with my closest friends, it is apparent that our emotions have begun to grow shells. This is not anyone's fault; this is simply how we grow and survive. If we were connected to everyone that closely, the emotional intensity would break most people. I remember hurting more than I've ever hurt before because of relatively minor events in that context.

...But I also remember the most incredible joy, and I remember feeling it was worth it both then and now. My dreams are developing a recurring element of loneliness in a crowd, which is a feeling I haven't had in years. It's unnerving enough to almost relapse my insomnia, so much so that I've been forcing myself to go to sleep for the past few days.

I have many people to communicate my thoughts to, which is amazing considering how bizarre they can be. I have always sought that out, because people who got my ideas were rare and therefore valuable. I just wish I had realized that the emotional communication I took for granted was apparently not meant to last.

I want to tell sad looking people on the subway to smile; that they matter as people. But if I was to actually say that, it would either be assumed that I was trying to flirt with them, that I was a freak, or in some way looking to profit from the comment. It kills me. I'm watching people grow their barriers thicker and thicker, and I'm losing contact with the elements of humanity that I actually appreciate. Instead, I'm left with seemingly soulless people who I couldn't give half a damn about, and it is driving me slowly insane.

I keep dreaming of talking to the important people in my life, and being totally open with them. It's not even like I have any burning things I need to say to them...it's that I can say the small, unimportant but valuable things. It's the freedom that's so open...and the surreality of it has been disturbing me both asleep and awake. Asleep because I know it isn't real but I want it to be, and awake because the acceptance of reality isn't something I want to do yet.

And now I have to go to sleep again, and I know I'm going to feel the same way in the morning...bah. At the very least, though, I want people reading this to know that you ALL affect each other far more than any of you are apparently willing to admit to either each other or yourselves. We ARE connected. You have actively changed the lives of so many people, and they will never be able to let you know how much because "it just doesn't happen like that". But know that it is appreciated, and I thank you all on behalf of all the people who will never be able to thank you themselves.

Current Music: Fatal Tragedy - Dream Theater [Scenes From A Memory]

Current Mood: [mood icon] uncomfortable

(11 Voices | Sing with the Choir)

July 7th, 2005
05:33 pm

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Wow...what a morning.

Slept in 2 1/2 hours...considering I was opening the store (we open at 10) and I woke up at 10, it made for a whole new definition of panic. I am happily still employed, though, through magic I do not understand. The manager laughed at me, though. I did manage to open the store in 20-30 minutes, though, which is unheard of. It's supposed to take 1 1/2 hours, so I felt a bit of pride despite myself during that hellish panic.

Then add that to the fact that we have no access to outside news in the store, and hearing about London only just as I was leaping out the door, and it makes for a bad, bad shift. Colin(my coworker) & I were calling anyone we could to get any real details on what happened...ugh.

LJ-Cut for people who aren't going to want to hear about the rehashed 9/11 stuff that the London incident is going to bring up. I know there'll be a lot of it, so I don't blame you. )

I still feel...odd. I think I'm going to have to find time to see someone soon, just for any reason...but I think I'll spend tonight inside, trying to regain my balance. I'm still a little shaky, but mostly from the stress of waking up late and panicking about losing my job. At least that what I'm going to attribute it to no matter what, anyway.

Given my excess sleep I gained this morning, I think I'll be up late tonight. I'm not exactly looking forward to sleeping, anyway.

Current Mood: [mood icon] uncomfortable

(7 Voices | Sing with the Choir)

June 15th, 2005
10:03 pm - Retrocontemplation

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It's been a while since I've really sat down and thought about my past. Probably a good thing, especially since I've been stagnating for 2+ years. But now that I'm in motion again(school, etc.), I feel almost rewarded by the ability to wax nostalgic again. It bothers me sometimes that I'm so reflective when I've only just turned 21, but I can't really be bothered. I honestly think I live my life with the goal in mind to make it satisfying to remember-no matter what the pain now, I just want the memory to be happy, or hopefully peaceful. Eh, I'm at least getting closer to that ;]

Only recently have I realized that I did actually manage to squeeze in a childhood despite my protests otherwise. I can remember good, peaceful times...and it makes a world of difference. I can't shake the feeling that I've got some great task to perform nowadays, making a memory of simpler times very valuable. I can remember stupid crushes, worrying about homework(but not really worrying), and forgetting my cares on the bus ride home. Now I look at how analytically I view my life, and how complicated even the happy things can seem...and I realize that I still have much to learn from my younger days. I used to be proud of being called old for my age...but I have no intention of becoming decrepit inside before my time.

I need to find that kind of simple peace that I once had, but I know I can't search for it like I do with most of my self-philosophies. I need to learn to let go again, need to learn to stop worrying about the good things. I miss the feeling of going to bed without constant thoughts buzzing in my head-I've slept to music since I moved here in grade 6(EDIT: Ew. I haven't had steady peaceful sleep for 9 years ;/ ) because I couldn't tune out the thinking. And as much as I love my music...I'd prefer a bit of silence ;]

Current Mood: [mood icon] nostalgic

Current Music: Mad World (Remix) - Gary Jules [Donnie Darko]

(2 Voices | Sing with the Choir)

November 20th, 2004
01:19 am - Bittersweet Curtain Calls ;]

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For the first time in months, I've felt really, truly alive. I don't recall the last time I felt like I was going to cry like this.

After seeing all the drama kids tonight, both old and new, and seeing how well things have turned out for everyone...wow. To restate it all would be too pale in comparison to the absolute vibrancy of the events...but I can certainly say that I've never felt so proud in my life.

To everyone still in Woodlands drama...you guys are fantastic. Both on and offstage, you've got everything that makes drama an event to remember for all time. These are the kinds of friends you'll have forever; you've got something you'll look back on with fondness that will last the test of time. And although I couldn't dare to take credit for how fantastic you all have become, I can't help but feel so very proud that I got to take part in watching you become so goddamned fantastic.

To all us "old folks"...it really feels like the rest of the world is pale in comparison to when the group gets together like this. Seeing the new kids reminds me of all the great things that brought us together, and how so little seems to have changed in the way we are around each other. You all have contributed to the very best moments of my life so far; I couldn't thank you enough for the memories.

For the first time in so very long, I felt like I still had a place that mattered in the world...watching drama pulse with that energy without any help from outside, watching the ripple effect of our time in practice before our eyes...it gives me faith in something worthwhile happening with my life. If I had any part in leading up to the great group that calls themselves the Drama Club now...maybe I just might have a chance in making something great happen in the future.

Thank you to all of you, Drama. You've done something great tonight. Be proud of yourselves ;]

(Just don't ever let Russell on stage again. E V E R.)

Current Music: Wonderful Night (Cleaned) (Fatboy Slim) [Palookaville]

Current Mood: [mood icon] nostalgic

(8 Voices | Sing with the Choir)

December 31st, 2003
12:49 pm - Reflections, Projections, and a New Years Resolution

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The clocks are all ticking down the final hours of this year...in less than twelve hours, we will wash our hands of 2003 and embrace 2004. And do you know what will have changed in that time?

Twelve or so hours, and alcohol sales will have gone up dramatically ;]

Seriously, though, this year seems like more of a change than other years...although looking back, there's been changes every year that I just haven't noticed. I'm a very different person than I was this time last year, and twice so by the year before that. I'm happy with the changes that happened within me, though the occurrences outside weren't as totally desirable. I don't regret any of the choices I made that set this path, but I don't fully like where the path led, overall.

Not to say nothing good happened in the year prior; that would be a lie. I don't even regret the things I didn't like about it; I just don't like them. I'm happy to say that I've learned from those points, and that they will not ever occur again. My OAC year was a disappointment overall for a few specific reasons, which simplifies my avoiding those reasons in the future. There were a few games played which I no longer have the patience for, games which made an absolute mess of things.

It's been funny to watch anyone else who was involved subtly "forget" any of those incidents, but I've got too much of a memory for that. To forget the past means you don't grow from it; you're doomed to repeat it. And in the case of something you didn't like, repetition isn't a desirable result.

Talking to some of those people, it seems nothing has changed about them at all since last year. And I find myself in a position where I am supposed to act the same as before as well.

No.

I am not who I was last year. I am not who I was the year before, or the year before that. I have changed and will continue to keep changing. Do not expect me to forget/ignore/suppress the past; I will be who I am now, not who I was.

I'm not normally one for New Years Resolutions, but this is an exception: I resolve to keep changing. And anyone who is too afraid to embrace change had better get the hell out of my way.

...
Damn, that felt good.

A quick note on commenting on my journal: I've read a few random journals recently which had some amusing comment wars, but one thing kept coming back to irritate me. The claim that "This is my journal, I can say what I want and you can't complain." bother the hell out of me. The whole reason for LiveJournal is to post your thoughts to others. If you don't like hearing what other people have to say, either shut off commenting, write all your entries private, or get a paper-and-pen journal. I hereby declare anyone can say whatever the hell the feel like saying on my journal: Free speech.

I also issue the warning that I also fall under the free speech rule...I will still respond in kind to rude or attacking comments. And those who know me best know I can be dangerous when provoked.

If you attack me here, don't be surprised if I smite thee. I don't want to hear "I was only saying..." or any of that avoidance crap. If you're not ready to have someone reply to your comment with whatever they feel should be said...don't post it here. Don't start playing with fire if you can't handle getting burned.

Current Mood: [mood icon] accomplished

Current Music: Auld Lang Syne

(7 Voices | Sing with the Choir)